Now with More Famous Comedians!

After I posted this about the sweet cafe I’m working from remotely, Michael Showalter walked in.  THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER IS BLESSING ME TODAY.  Can I work remotely forever?  

Unfortunately, all I want to do right now is watch Wet Hot American Summer.  Will have to settle for sitting next to a can of vegetables and writing this brief.

How I Spent My Sandy Vacation (Part 1)

Although I live in Brooklyn, my section was largely spared by Hurricane Sandy.  I have friends who continue to be without power and heat, so I am deeply aware of how lucky I am, especially as the weather dips into the 40s.

Because I anticipated being stranded in my apartment because of Sandy, I decided to get started on a number of little projects I’ve been meaning to work on but never found the time for.  First up was this painting project, which I found here.  The instructions on her web site are fairly easy (if a little sparse), but it was actually fairly simple.  Which it would have to be because I am an artistic dum dum.  Now, is this going in the Louvre?  Only if I smuggle it in and throw it on a wall when no one is looking.  That having been said, I think it turned out OK!  I think it’s an easy day project for anyone, and I’d recommend it with a couple of suggestions:

  1. Don’t get semi-opaque gold paint and figure you’ll work it out.  You’ll end up doing three coats and still thinking it looks ‘meh.’  Spring for gold spray paint.  Also spray your finger and then walk around Park Slope telling people you’re Goldfinger.  They may not laugh, but I think they’ll totally appreciate it.  Someday.
  2. Get 3/4” painters tape or smaller.  I don’t know where to get the Japanese tape the lady mentions in the tutorial, but this worked out just fine.  
  3. Don’t forget to buy the stuff you use to clean oil-based paintbrushes.  Or you’ll end up trying to wipe paint off the only brush you have every time you switch colors.  It will be annoying/ineffective.
  4. Peel off the tape after about 1-2 hours.  If it dries all the way, it’s more likely to rip off paint with it.
  5. Let that bitch DRY.  It’s been 2 days, and the oil paint is still wet.  I probably used too much paint or something, but I’m surprised it’s taking this long.  
  6. Don’t tell your boyfriend you got the idea off Pinterest.  You’ll never hear the end of it.

Total cost: $30ish, although I have a ton of paint and tape left, so I could conceivably do this project again.  Worth it!

Last week I finished my intro woodworking class at 3rd Ward in Brooklyn, and here is the finished product.  On the whole, it turned out well, although it’s obviously the work of an amateur.  In the interest of keeping it real, I’ve appended pictures of both my best and worst joints.  As you can see, they ranged from what my instructor called “some real craftsman shit” to, well, just shit.  

Next up is a class on joints, so hopefully I’ll get better!  

Annotated Garden Update: Part Deux

As promised, here is the second installment of my patio garden update, now with more jokes but still the same amount (never enough) of Comic Sans annotation.  

Here was the first installment, in case you missed it!  

Annotated Garden Update: Part 1

I have been very remiss in updating Tumblr about my patio garden, which is equal parts frustrating and rewarding (the gardening, not the lack of updating).  I feel like I should be learning a life lesson about pain and loss, but all I am doing is googling “How to kill thieving motherfucking squirrels.”

Anyway, here are some updated pics of my garden lovingly annotated in Comic Sans.

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